Another Friday self-isolating. This time nursery called to say Piglet had a temperature.

Too late to get a referral through occ health, we trundled across the A1 to a drive-through testing centre at the edge of nowhere.

The centre, set up for high traffic, was quiet on a Saturday morning, which made it confusingly convoluted. The staff looked to be lads who would've worked hospitality security if it wasn't all closed. Our man who gave us the kit spent most of the time imploring us not to go so hard as to hospitalise Piglet.

She wasn't impressed with the experience.