Things that don't entertain Piglet:

  • Going into the high chair
  • Post-meal hands and face wipe (without the right accompanying song)
  • Toys that possess agency
  • 7 to 10 pm
  • Parental mobile phone usage
  • Spinach
  • Things out of reach
  • That night when we hung the cloud on the nursery wall
  • Too much food in her mouth at one time
  • The creak of the nursery door
  • Grandad. And it breaks his heart
  • Eating Treacle's sawdust
  • Any time it's over 21 °C
  • Being forbidden from drinking coffee
  • Loud appliances. Drill and hoover so far. Happily, we're lazy
  • The sound of a turning page