Piglet's reaction to lockdown has been to grow all her teeth in a single sitting and, consequently, give up on sleep.

The obvious effect is that me and The Chef have never been more knackered. We're over-communicating everything to avoid pass agg-ing our way to mutual destruction. But...



Maximum forgiveness for each other is expected and given.

The secondary effect, is jealousy of other's lockdown lives. We'd love a Switch to binge Animal Crossing and Zelda. Instead we're pacing, shushing and attacking an infant with a Calpol syringe.

Then I speak to parents of toddlers and kids and cry vicariously.